I’m not talking to all Texans (or even the vast majority of Texans); I’m talking to those folks who have recently started and signed a petition for the Great State of Texas to secede from the United States of America.
To be fair, citizens in all 50 states have started similar petitions in the aftermath of President Obama’s reelection over Mitt Romney, but Texas is the first to reach the required 25,000 signatures on the White House’s direct petition site, which guarantees them a review of said petition and a response from the Obama Administration.
And, I say this as a former (and mostly proud) Texan myself, Texas is far more in need of this blog post than any other state with such a desire to secede. They are solidly conservative, a hotbed of Tea Party shenanigans and have a Republican governor that, most of the time, seems to be asleep at the wheel and whom Texans have elected to that office. Three times.
So, my Texan brothers and sisters, here are some facts to consider before you pull the plug on this “Grand, Noble Experiment” we call America:
- Since 2003, Texas has routinely received more in Federal funds than it has paid in Federal taxes by an annual estimate of around $60 billion. The state is projected to spend about $80 billion over the next two years in General Revenue funds. These are separate figures, but think of it this way: Texans are profiting $60 billion in Federal funds, next year. That’s about 75% of the state’s budget. Who is going to pay the tab for the shortfall? Texans will actually have *higher* taxes if they secede.
- Do you like your Border Patrol keeping all those pesky, hard-working Mexicans out? Yeah, that’s a Federal agency. Goodbye, border protection.
- Do you like a military that protects you from harm and defends your freedom? That’s also Federal, and your Texas National Guard units are significantly funded by the Federal Government. That’s yet another expense to tack on to your incoming bill for secession, not to mention the cost of setting up viable centers to train your Soldiers. Good luck with that.
- What about exports and imports? Do you realize that Texas actually *lacks* robust companies in many industries? What are you going to do when materials necessary for your survival fail to arrive because you cut off ties with the rest of the country?
- What about foreign policy? You do realize Texas is a running gag in much of the world ever since Pres. Bush took office, right? How do you plan to quickly set up relations with other nations?
- Here’s a big one: What if Mexico (rightly) believes it could overpower and annex you? Who’s going to be there to help you out? Last time, it was us. (No, really, take your happy little asses over to Google and look it up.)
And these points are just for starters.
Please think about those and get back to us, and by the way: We’re keeping Austin. You can’t have it.